If there’s one problem with our increasingly interconnected world it’s got to be the increased chance of people from the past catching up with you. Sometimes, I suppose, it can be a good thing. You might find yourself contacted by someone that you really wish you could catch up with, but in my experience those people are rarely the ones that seek you out.
It used to be that hiding from the internet detectives was fairly easy. You just avoided giving anyone your email address and tried not to use your real name on line. If you do use your real name it’s a good idea to avoid having a picture of you anywhere near it as it’s almost guaranteed that someone will Google you, and then Google image search you to see if you’re who they think you are. If you keep your name off the internet as much as possible it’s almost certain that you can avoid being found. It’s not 99% foolproof, but it works as a way of staying off all but the most determined radar. El Kat has successfully maintained a total internet blackout for many years now, and I’m beginning to envy her.
I joined up with Facebook a couple of years ago as one of my friends was going to Japan to teach English to primary school kids. As she kept posting her photos and what she was up to on Facebook I eventually had to relent and sign up to see how her trip was going. Things were pretty quiet on the Facebook front for ages, but suddenly I’ve had half a dozen friend requests, in less than a week, from people that I knew at school. I’d add them as friends, but I really don’t know what the hell I have in common with them nowadays. Some of them were good friends when I was thirteen or fourteen, but by the looks of their pictures and profiles they haven’t really gone anywhere since then. Four of them are still living in the same wee towns in Ayrshire, and most of them are still dressed more or less the same way as they did in the early 90s.
Generally I don’t blame them for looking up people that they used to know. I know that when I first joined I typed in the names of everyone that I could think of just to see if they would come up. It’s an act of idle curiosity that I bet everyone who signs up to these sites indulges in. What seems odd to me is to take the next step and actually attempt to make contact with the people you’ve found. I don’t remember being especially friendly with any of them, and one of them was a total bastard as far as I’m concerned.
Maybe it’s because I lack that odd gene that some people have that makes them want to run school reunions and find everyone they ever knew on Facebook, Friends Reunited and their ilk. You probably know at least one person like that without realising it. They were probably fairly popular at school, or were at least fairly gregarious and well known, maybe they were head boy or girl. Unfortunately that’s the zenith of thier life’s achievements and they’ve spent the next couple of decades desperately trying to recapture that faded glory.
Personally I think that the past is the past, and if we had really, truly, wanted to keep in contact we would have found some way to accomplish it. I don’t think seeking out people from the past on the internet is the nostalgic trip down memory lane that people imagine that it’s going to be. In fact, given that we had little in common when we were at the same school day in and day out it seems unlikely that we’ll have anything to say to each other ten years further down the line. I could be wrong of course, but I don’t envisage accepting their friends requests to be any less stilted and awkward than the occasional time I run into one of them in the street while visiting my folks. It’s cringe-worthy enough trying to make politely forced conversation then without them having instant access to whatever the hell I’m up to now.
In short :
aww you big hermit you….