I came across a couple of funny sites that riff on the current advertising campaigns for David Cameron and the Tories that I thought I would share:
Archive for the 'Humour' Category
Reports are coming in that Herr McD has abandoned his job on the grounds that the staff training resembled this infamous video…
Like all normal human beings I go through phases with my job. Much of the time I beetle on through it without too much trouble. I look on it as a necessary evil, nothing to get excited about, but not a great burden for the rewards that it provides. I get up in the morning, sigh, and head in. It’s just another one of those things that are part of life like paying taxes, eating, breathing and shitting.
Sometimes though I really start to resent the fact that for five days of the week I’m basically throwing away the best part of a day just to serve someone else.
It’s during these downturn phases that I’ve turned to that good old Scottish staple of fantasy known as “when I win the lottery”. The fantasy is self explanatory: I win the lottery and I quit my wage slave job for a life of leisurely aristocratic ease. I’ll lay long odds that everyone reading this has had the same fantasy at some point in their working lives, although the older ones amongst you would probably originally have wished they could win the Pools.
Most people fantasise about what they would do with all that cash. How they would spend it on sumptuous mansions, fast cars and the like. I however have mainly confined myself to imagining he best way to make an exit from the work. At first I went for the most ostentatious things I could think of: being picked up by a limo or even in a helicopter landing on the roof, but these don’t really fit in with my personality or my feelings over the job.
In the end I’ve narrowed down my plans to four possible options that increase in deviousness and decrease in common consideration for my fellow employees.
#1 – Just don’t go back to work. No letter of resignation and no phone call, no email and not even a txt message by way of explanation either. I just up and vanish overnight without any warning what so ever. When the boss comes round my house looking for me he finds the place is empty and the forwarding address from my letting agent is a PO Box in a made up town somewhere in Manitoba.
#2 – Somewhat similar in execution to #1 but with one important difference: I use my newfound wealth to hire the biggest mobile billboard truck I can get my hands on, park it up across the street from my work with a huge picture of me flipping the bird and a caption saying “GET IT UP YE!”
Those two ideas require very little personal effort and although interesting would only have a small impact on THE WORK. I would prefer to see and be involved directly in the act of departing from my place of employment after my hypothetical windfall so I’ve come up with two more ideas:
#3 – I start work as normal on what appears to be an ordinary Monday morning. Have a chat with my colleagues about the weekend, the weather and so on. Start working away quite normally and then I say I’m going on a fairly trivial errand, maybe across to the canteen for some coffee or off to get some paper for the printer, and I just leave there and then. I never answer any phone calls or enquires and as in #1 and #2 when the boss comes knocking to try and locate me I’m long gone, like I never existed.
#4 – This idea is similar to #3 I start as normal on the Monday morning and, as before, it appears to be the start of an average everyday week. However I’m on the lookout for something, anything that I can use to carry out my plan. I act normally until something utterly trivial, but irritating, happens. Maybe I spill some tea, the photocopier jams or I forget to save a document. It has to be something very stupid and not something caused by a person. I don’t want to alienate folk, I just something to appear to be the trigger. As soon as it happens I go off like Mount Vesuvius throwing the mother of all crazy flip outs. The monitor gets hurled out the window, the laptops and phone smash off the walls and I storm out and never return leaving a sea of surprised and concerned faces in my wake. Naturally I disappear much as I do in the previous ideas.
Unfortunately I’ll need to keep these ideas on the backburner for now as I’m on the upswing again and work doesn’t seem to be too much a problem.
I’ve also not won the lottery so they’re not practical… yet…
El Kat has just sent me a link to what might be one of the funniest videos that I’ve seen in ages:
I think it’s fair to say that few actors have quite as interesting an on-screen presence as Christopher Walken. Nobody can quite pull off creepy, psychotic villain or unsettling anti-hero quite like him.
Equally I think it’s fair to say that few writers approach the Gothic menace of Edgar Allan Poe when it comes to prose and poetry. Now imagine if you will the Frankenstein’s Monster of aural pleasure that would come from a combination of these two elements.
In fact, imagine no longer! Tremble mortals as Christopher Walker reads The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe…
If you’re in need of something to calm you down after that, then have a look at this sketch by Anthony Ahern from an Australian comedy sketch show called The Wedge.
Many thanks to Herr Makdowall for pointing this one out to me.
El Kat has sent me what might well be the greatest comedy tune ever to have emerged from the internet:
Outstanding!
El Kat has sent me what might well be the greatest comedy tune ever to have emerged from the internet:
Outstanding!
I spotted this classic bit of vandalism today on the Kirklee Bridge up in the west end.
I assume such an outstanding piece of workmanship could only have been constructed by a student as it seems to be beyond the usual level of ned capabitilies.
I’ve been a bit disappointed lately by the sign on Sauchiehall Lane; it doesn’t seem to have been changed in months and it’s looking a bit decrepit now. Thankfully I have discovered a substitute in close proximity and here it is:
This board can be found on the corner of Bath Street and Elmbank Street outside The Griffin Pub and directly across from the King’s Theatre. The example above is far from the funniest example I’ve seen there. Hopefully I’ll manage to sneak past and photograph some better ones in future.