Archive for the 'News' Category

The Newspaper Question

I’ve been wondering, out of hand, how difficult it would be to start up a newspaper. I know that individuals have done it in the past, HP Lovecraft for one, but is it something that might still be possible in this day and age. It’s unlikely that it would be a profitable enterprise given that most established papers are losing money hand over fist, but maybe something along the business model of the Metro might be successful.

I bet you’re wondering why why might someone like me want to start a newspaper though, and what could I offer that isn’t already out there. In truth I’m not sure, but I know that a newspaper nowadays is more than something to report the news. Maybe there’s a market for a newspaper that’s consciously unbiased? Would people be interested in just reading the news without someone sticking a pair of tits on it like the sun, or blaming immigrants like the Daily Mail? Just the facts ma’am.

Could we dare dream of such a world…

Even the reliotively non-partisan Metro isn’t perfect. Its pages are almost 50% adverts. Understandable given that the paper is given away free every day in many major cities, but it’s content suffers as a result. I half-joking, half-seriously, often point out stories in the Metro that were on the front page of Digg days before. I can’t prove that they’re lifting their features from the internet to save money, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. Still that’s better than those papers that are still blatantly manufacturing the news and trying to pretend it’s serious journalism. Say what you like about the Daily Star for example. At least they realise they’re all about tits, sport and celebrities, and they’ve never tried to be anything else.

Wonder if the missus would kill me for starting a Daily Star clone…

Moar Maddie and Moar The Sun

There’s yet another story in The Sun about the court case involving the parents of Madeline McCann and the Portuguese police officer. Just like the one yesterday the comments feature has been disabled for this one story.

Come on The Sun let the public have their say.

Maddie and The Sun

In spite of my better judgement I keep logging on to The Sun’s website to read what kind of bizarre spin they’re putting on the news. Normally their mix of jingoistic half news and Tory supporting “politics” amuses me in much the same way as watching folk hurt themselves on You’ve Been Framed, but today I’ve developed a rage at a very specific aspect of their website.

Throughout the site, at the bottom of every article, there is a comments section where registered users can let loose their own brand of misspelled, FULL CAPS “opinions” for everyone to see.  The comments often rival the worst that you can find on Youtube, or any other site with a large group of users. Just like Youtube a large proportion of the most vocal users appear to be a largely illiterate and demented.

The comments themselves have never caused me much annoyance. In fact I would go as far as to say that they add to the amusement value of many of the articles and especially when the commenter charge in having only read half of the preceding article. I’ve actually lost count of the number of times that someone has blamed Gordon Brown for something that he couldn’t possibly have any control over.

No the comments are fine, but I am annoyed by the fact that the sun chooses to prevent people from commenting on certain stories while allowing free reign on others.

Today The Sun is running a story about the ongoing court case between Goncalo Amaral and the parents of Madeline McCann over the banning of his book on the case. In the book the former police officer alleges that Madeline’s parents accidentally caused her death and then went to elaborate lengths to dispose of her body and cover their tracks. I’ve actually read the book as it was posted on Wikileaks.org last year and I believe that the author makes some very valid points. The writing style was sensationalist, and very accusatory, but the underlying theory does merit investigation. I accept that it’s natural that the McCanns should be outraged at the accusation of being responsible for Madaline’s disappearance, but at the same time they should accept that they are bound to be investigated in some manner. It seems to me that even if they did not, as the book alleges, have a hand in their daughter’s disappearance that they were at the very least negligent in their parental responsibilities.

The book has been banned, at the request of the McCanns, due to its controversial nature, but I feel that this is fundamentally wrong. If we are not allowed to hear all sides of an argument how can we judge which side is right?

In a similar vein The Sun, which has been hypercritical of the Portuguese police from the day and hour the story broke, has branded Chief Inspector Tavares Almeida’s allegations “outrageous” and described the police officer as “sick”. In my opinion this man, and his former superior who authored the book under discussion are merely articulating a view that has been widely circulated since Madeline disappeared in May 2007. Without sufficient evidence to refute the theory it remains perfectly valid. Let’s not forget that this entire case turned into an outrageous media circus within days of the disappearance being reported. The McCanns themselves have been repeatedly criticised in foreign media for their apparently nonchalant reaction to discovering their child’s disappearance, their uncommonly calm and detached demeanour on press conferences after the story broke and most of all for leaving all three of their small children alone in an unlocked apartment, in a strange city, while they went out for a meal.

The whole case offends me, but what offends me more is that The Sun doesn’t have the courage to leave their comments system turned on so that people can make their opinions, critical or otherwise, known on the article. If the McCanns have nothing to hide then they’ve nothing to fear from conspiracy theories. Equally if The Sun is determined to keep advertising itself as a paper of the common person in the street then it needs to let the man in the street have their say no matter how far that might diverge from The Sun’s opinion.

Planning For a Drowned World

I don’t know why, but I’m SPECTACULARLY annoyed by an article that I’ve just read on the BBC News website. What makes my annoyance even more annoying is the fact that by rights the subject of the article should be very interesting. You can read it here. The gist of the article is that marine archaeologists have been studying a group of apparently man made artefacts that have been discovered off the small island of Damsey in Orkney.

The thing that specifically annoys me about the article is two quotes from two experts interviewed for the article. I can’t be sure of course if their words have been quoted out of context because of the high level and brevity of the article. For the moment though I’ll assume for now that they said what they said and that they meant what they said.

The first comment is from Sue Dawson, a geomorphologist from the University of Dundee who said the discovery is important, “so we can look to times when maybe environmental changes have been much more rapid and much more catastrophic in some instances and people have survived and adapted and it’s that adaption to climate change is one of the key things that we need to get to grips with.”

Second quote is fairly similar in content. Caroline Wickham-Jones said “The really interesting thing about this bay is the stories relating to things under the sea and sea-level change. Our ancestors were dealing with similar problems to ourselves and we’d like to see how they coped with it.”

Now I’m not an archaeologist, and I’m certainly not a geomorphologist. In fact as a historian I generally spit on archaeologists, much the same way as they spit on Channel 4’s Time Team program, but even I can see that the answer is fairly obvious. Early man when confronted by rising sea levels pulled up sticks and MOVED SOMEWHERE ELSE. It was NO BOTHER to him what so ever. It might seem incredible to us, living here in the future, but he didn’t have to inform the land registry, or close his account with the Gas Board, and he definitely didn’t have to fill in Form 27b/6. If his house was in danger of getting flooded he didn’t have to worry about insurance premiums, or his plasma TV getting wet.

Long term rising sea levels and climate change are an issue that will plague generation after generation of humans, but only because so many humans are short sighted and greedy. It’s the thousands upon thousands of people that when given the choice between buying a four bedroom house in a new development on a reclaimed flood plain, or a smaller urban semi-detached in the suburbs chose the big house because it’s big. It takes as special kind of stupid to build houses on historic flood plains, diverted river courses and reclaimed land and then wonder why people complain when their up to their armpits in smelly brown water. It’s not like most of these people in their identikit George Wilson Homes specifically need good fertile land like that.

The Metro – Recycling News for the Worker Drones

I don’t know why I keep picking up abandoned copies of The Metro that the commuter types bring into the work as every time I open it up I start to get the rage. Many people get annoyed about the number of adverts in it, but I don’t have a problem with that. The paper is free after all, and they’ve got to pay for it somehow. I’m not even all that bothered by the fact that their journalism wavers unpredictably through the spectrum between half decent and the worst level of journalism that’s possible without being an editor at an English tabloid.

OK so that stuff annoys me too, but more than than any of that I’m annoyed by the fact that half the stories in the metro are blatantly recycled from that appeared on the internet the day before. Let me be clear that I don’t mean that they’ve stolen the text of an article off the reuters news site, or reworded an article on the BBC news. I mean they’ve taken a story that was well known and publicised on several widely known sites such as digg, the BBC News, Wikipedia or CNN and printed it up in the physical paper edition of the metro. Worse half the time there’s a lag between these events appearing on the main sites and the subsequent reporting in the metro.

I’m beginning to think that the Metro news office is really just a bunch of folk sitting waiting for forwarded news from email contacts to arrive in their inbox so they can throw it onto the page. You get what you pay for I guess.

In the interests of science I’ve started trying to spot these time lagged articles whenever I can get hold of a copy of the metro for study.

Nae Mean City

I spotted a news story today in The “Scottish” Sun that I feel really sums up the age in which we’re currently living. Most of the story won’t be surprising to anyone that’s been on public transport in Glasgow. It’s the same old merry-go-round of a nutter getting on the bus, verbally abusing the driver and then rounding on anyone that looks at them the wrong way.

This time the nutcase boarded the 62, in the middle of the afternoon on bank holiday Monday, and started abusing the driver about the increase in the fare to his intended destination. Incidentally the increase started away back at the end of March and was widely publicised about the buses and in the Evening Times etc.

The next step for this guy was, of course, to turn his anger on the other passengers travelling on the bus.  The nut job is now firmly entrenched on the bus and even goes as far as to start abusing a primary school kid because he was wearing a Rangers top. The boy and his dad were both, probably quite rightly, too scared to do anything about the eijit and presumably ignored him or smiled politely in the hope he would go away. No doubt the rest of the bus were quite happy that he wasn’t picking on any of them directly and muttered under their breath that somebody should do something about him. One passenger though, a guy by the name of Barry MacDonald, didn’t just mutter. He actually took it upon himself to challenge the nutter about his behaviour in a rare act of personal bravery and social responsibility.

Naturally the thug stewed about this for a bit, and then as his stop approached he pulled a knife and stabbed Barry in the stomach. Nobody tried to stop him, or even try to get hold of him before he fled, and nobody on the packed bus has come forward as a witness to this attack. Still it’s a well known fact that the people of Glasgow have no love for the police eihter. I can’t very well blame the nutters entirely; if they do something and get away with it then they’re more likely to do it again. If we’re honest with ourselves this wasn’t the first time that someone was attacked or even murdered in broad daylight in a busy place and nobody can remember seeing anything. I’ve even seen it myself on occasion while passing by a bus stop. The police dragging some drugged up lunatic off a bus while the passengers berate the cops for being thugs, pigs and bastards even though I guarantee before the cops showed up every man jack of them was praying that the nutter would either get off at the next stop or that someone would do something about him.

As an aside I’d like to say that I don’t know what it is about Glasgow, but there seems to be an ever increasing prevalence of thugs like this lately. Every single time this kind of stuff happens it’s a sad step back for a city that’s tried so hard to lose the image of scar faced razor wielding hoodlums. It doesn’t matter how much they spend on Chinese granite and urban regeneration. They still haven’t managed to tackle the root causes of all the problems: That quintessentially Glaswegian nutter element that has consistently dragged the city down to their level.

So shame on you Glasgow, the city that breeds a generation of dangerous thugs and then hasn’t the courage to face up to them. Shame on the people who sat and muttered and hoped that “someone” would do something about the bam that boarded the bus but hadn’t the courage to help the one man who tried. Finally shame, and thrice shame on everyone on that bus who went home and probably told everyone they knew about the excitement of the day, but hadn’t the decency, bravery or social responsibility to phone in to the police and say “I saw what happened on that 62 when that boy was stabbed.”

Schwienhunden Flu

There’s nothing like the arrival of a potential global pandemic to bring out the worst in everyone. Already the global news community is going gaga over every single bit of information that comes out about the Mexican Swine Flu outbreak. They’ve managed to whip the western world into another media driven panic before the facts are completely clear and every item of news that comes out of Mexico, or the World Health Organisation, is being taken as another toll of the DOOM BELL.

The Mexican government have very wisely put the country into a state of controlled shutdown to contain the virus as best they can. Not easy in a country of a hundred million people, and especially difficult within the cramped confines of Mexico City.

If George W Bush was still in the white house I’d expect him to declare a War on Flu and send in the marines, but the Obama administration are a lot less reactionary. Without the often amusing George W to fall back on I’ve been forced to look further afield for crazy acts by world governments.

Surprisingly though it seems to be Egypt that was first to go BATSHIT INSANE over the whole Swine Flu thing. Which is odd to begin with considering that the nearest confirmed case is in Israel.  It’s already been reported on the news that the Egyptian government have seized almost every pig. The great irony is that the so called Swine Flu is a mutant strain born of the intermingling of Swine Flu, Avian Flu and common or garden Man Flu. It isn’t communicated through pigs, and appears to have no effect on the animals. The slaughtering of pigs appears to be either rank stupidity or some kind of PR stunt designed to reassure the population that the government is taking action.

Das Kredit Krunch

I’m starting to develop an abiding hatred for the phrase “Credit Crunch“. I’m not denying that the world has suffered an extensive and damaging financial situation in the last few months. I think it’s clear that something went very wrong with the financial system and a lot of innocent (and not so innocent) people have suffered as a result.

I am however annoyed that the so called Credit Crunch has become a global bogeyman. I’ve repeatedly heard it invoked whenever something bad has to happen in the world of business. The Financial Crisis was caused by irresponsible lending, and corporate greed. It wasn’t a supernatural force, and it certainly wasn’t an accident that the markets ended up in the mess they’re in.

It really makes my blood boil to hear the pithy phrase Credit Crunch being thrown into a conversation as though it were Satan himself. I’ve head it blamed for everything from a shop lacking fivers for change to the closure of a famously mismanaged local factory.

To help everyone out I’ve drawn up a list of ten situations that the evil Credit Crunch bogyman was not responsible for:

The Credit Crunch did not impregnate your teenage daughter
The Credit Crunch did not steal your car
The Credit Crunch did not sneak into your house and inject you with cellulite
The Credit Crunch did not pump your maw
The Credit Crunch did not have a one night stand with your twin sister
The Credit Crunch did not make you gay
The Credit Crunch did not cut you up on the motorway
The Credit Crunch did not eat the last jam donut

Last and most importantly of all:

The Credit Crunch did not make you take out that unnecessary credit
The Credit Crunch did not make you mismanage your company

Oh and if I’m wrong, and the Credit Crunch is an anthropomorphic representation of an abstract concept, I suggest they get Samuel L Jackson to play him in the inevitable movie adaptation.

Ron Paul Vs The Pirates

The American congressman Ron Paul posted a video towards the beginning of the week that instantly piqued my interest. In it he discusses the current pirate activity in and around Somalia. He waffles quite a bit at the beginning about how nebulous Islamic radicals and their effect in destabilising Somalia. It just after that he mentions the idea of using a power established within the Constitution of the United States to issued Letters of Marque and Reprisal to private groups.

Here’s the video in full:

A Letter of Marque is an official document, like a warrant or private commission which empowers the bearer to seize and attack the assets of any group or power that is an enemy of the issuing government. They were used extensively during the early modern period when governments lacked the resources or finances to outfit and supply ships. Private warships would be outfitted by companies or rich investors and issued with letters of Marque allowing them to attack and seize enemy ships. These would then be conveyed to one of the issuing government’s ports and an amount of prize money awarded dependant upon the value of the ship and its cargo. The distinction between vessels carrying a letter of marque who were known as privateers, and pirates who plundered other ships for simple profit, was so fine that often the privateers themselves hardly knew the difference. To the nation under attack by the privateers there was no difference, and a privateer would be hung at the low tide markers as sure as any pirate.

Now as someone that has studied historical piracy in quite some detail I feel I have to pass comment on his idea. I think that like a lot of people Mr. Paul has forgotten, or maybe never took the time to learn, the lessons of the past. Historically the issuing of letters of marque has often backfired on the governments that granted them. Either through political embarrassment or through reckless or through the the privateer wilfully overstepping the bounds of their authority as set out in the letter.

In fact it backfired so often, and so disastrously, that most of great powers signed a treaty called The Paris Declaration Respecting Maritime Law in 1856. The treaty had several purposes, but the key one was the absolute abolishment of Privateers and Letters of Marque. Young United States however refused to sign the treaty citing concerns that neautral shipping suspected of carrying war materials to belligerent powers could still be seized, and that it needed to employ privateers owing to the small size of her navy. The USA still hasn’t ratified this, or any similar treaty.

Interstingly many of the most famous historical figures that we would commonly call pirates were actually privateers of some kind or another. A prime example would be Captain Kidd one of the most famous pirates of the early modern era, and a Scotsman to boot. He was granted a letter of marque and commissioned to outfit a ship and cruise against pirates and French shipping in the Indian Ocean. He suffered a run of bad luck, including much of his crew being shanghaied and pressed into naval service, a cholera outbreak and being utterly unable to locate any French or pirate vessels along the east African coast. Eventually in desperation to turn a profit for his backers it seems he resorted to outright piracy. It was around this time that he seized the Armenian ship the Quedagh Merchant and her cargo which was worth a kings ransom. This may not have been entirely his idea however, as eyewitness accounts suggest he could barely control his mutinous and plunder hungry crew. Eventually many deserted and signed on with another pirate leaving Kidd with a skeleton crew and the Quedagh Merchant. Kidd was eventually captured in New York and put on trial accused of piracy. It was one of the most sensational trials of the eighteenth century; Kidd was forced to forego legal representation and had to defend himself against what amounted to a political show trial. Unsurprisingly he was found guilty and hanged on May 23, 1701 at Execution Dock in Wapping.

He is not alone in being a government man that served his king and country as a privateer and yet be remembered as a pirate by history. Sir Henry Morgan, perhaps the greatest of the Caribbean buccaneers saw himself as a patriot and defender of Jamaica. He undertook daring raids against the Spanish empire in the new world secure in the knowledge that he was serving his king and country. Unfortunately a shift in Europe’s political landscape left him an embarrassing liability to the English Crown and he was summoned back to England. However by the time he returned the political winds had shifted once more and he was returned to Jamaica in triumph as the new governor.

Much as I hate to admit it, piracy was largely eliminated by strong national navies, and the British Navy played a particularly important role in this. I sincerely doubt that a policy of adding government sanctioned trigger happy private enterprise forces into the already volatile region around the Indian Ocean would have the effect that Ron Paul believes. It seems more likely that you would have quickly replaced a few groups of badly equipped, if determined individuals, with an unregulated and profit driven armed force operating in international waters beyond the effective rule of law. How long do you think it will be before some of them start carrying out “inspections” of passing vessels or “impounding” goods?

Big Blasted Cack

It’s often said in Scotland that the British Broadcasting Corporation should be renamed the English Broadcasting Corporation. Their radio and television channels display a remarkable level of Anglo-centric behaviour and a great many of their Scottish programs are just the English ones with a bit of tartan and shortbread sitting beside the presenter.

If their general programming is bad for this national bias then their international sports coverage is many times worse. of Scottish, or indeed Welsh and Northern Irish is infamous for English bias. It’s fair to say that as long as a sportsman is winning they will be British, but as soon as they start to loose they are instantly returned to their respective nationality.  The Scottish tennis player Andy Murray is an excellent example of this phenomenon: when he’s winning he’s a true Brit and a great British sportsman. The instant he loses he’s back to being just a Scottish tennis player or that plucky young boy from Scotland.

Today I found yet another cracking example of the English Broadcasting Corporation at it’s finest. It was while checking the RSS Feed for the BBC news I spotted the following headline:

mcflintstones

The RSS hyperlink is entitled “Evidence of McFlinstones Found” but the actual page is headlined with the far more descriptive “Signs of earliest Scots unearthed.” I may be over-reacting but I can’t see this as anything more than yet another quick pun at the expense of Scotland by a London based media. I’m surprised they didn’t just entitle the entire article “Jocks find some rocks and don’t try to eat them!” or “kilt wearing haggish munchers find rocks.”

It’s time we cut these arseholes off entirely and got our own Scottish news media on the go.

(And don’t talk to me about STV. They’re just the poor man’s BBC nowadays.)