Tag Archive for 'News'

Whoa White Baby! (Bam-Ba-Lam)

Published on July 21, 2010 in Whiiiit!?. 3 Comments Tags: , .

I was inspired to knock together a parody song in honour of Nmachi Ihegboro the blonde haired, blue eyed and white skinned newborn daughter of two black Nigerians that’s currently baffling medical experts, and no doubt outraging readers of the Daily Mail.

Whoa, black couple (bam-A-lam)
Whoa, black couple (bam-A-lam)
Black couple had a child (bam-A-lam)
The damn thing’s WHITE (bam-A-lam)
Black Husband said “I’m worrin’ outta my mind” (bam-A-lam)
The damn thing looks cracker(bam-A-lam)
I said oh black couple (bam-A-lam)
whoa, black couple (bam-BA-lam)

whoa, black couple (bam-BA-lam)
whoa, black couple (bam-BA-lam)
She really gets me high (bam-BA-lam)
You know that’s no lie (bam-BA-lam)
They’re so rock steady (bam-BA-lam)
They’re always ready (bam-BA-lam)
whoa, black couple (bam-BA-lam)
whoa, black couple (bam-BA-lam)

Whoa, black couple (bam-BA-lam)
Whoa, black couple (bam-BA-lam)
They from Sidcup (bam-BA-lam)
Way down in Eng-ah-land (bam-BA-lam)
Well’ she’s showing that kid (bam-BA-lam)
On every channel (bam-BA-lam)
Whoa, black couple (bam-BA-lam)
Whoa, black couple
BAM-BA-LAM

Here We Go Again

Published on June 5, 2010 in Politics. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , .

I’ve been reading just now that Israeli Naval forces are shadowing another aid ship, the MV Rachel Corrie, bound for Gaza. It seems that the Israeli regime has learned its lesson after the debacle last week and have used more traditional means to secure control of the ship.

I’ve begun to wonder if maybe the Free Gaza movement that has been organising these blockade runs should change tack a bit. So far they’ve sent unarmed civilian cargo ships which have been seized and diverted by the Israelis without any great problems. Bulk carriers and small passenger ships are hardly built to be particularly fast or manoeuvrable so it’s no surprised that they’re quickly overtaken by the Israeli Navy.

Here’s what I’ve been thinking though. The old Soviet states have a lot of old submarines lying around that are slowly rusting away, and Russia doesn’t really seem to have much at stake in the Middle East other than keeping Turkey on side for access from the Black Sea to the Mediterranean through the Bosporus. So, I wonder, would there be some mileage in buying or leasing some old disarmed Russian submarines to sneak some aid into Gaza under the blockade.  I know it’s hardly a practical idea, the Israeli navy is well equipped with home-grown and American supplied equipment, and there’s no reason to assume that their anti-submarine capabilities are any less effective than any of their other equipment. The Mediterranean is also fairly clear and shallow off the Gaza coast making it a difficult place to hide even a small submarine, but it would be an interesting experiment for them to try.

At the very least it would force the Israeli and Egyptian forces manning the blockade into a moral quandary. Should the attempt to stop the submerged submarine sneaking underneath them, and risk creating a public relations nightmare, and quite possibly a diplomatic incident, or let it pass and fail to sustain their blockade effectively.

Israeli Gunboat Diplomacy

Published on May 31, 2010 in Politics. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

The news is full of reports this morning that Israeli forces have seized a flotilla of aid ships that were heading towards Gaza in defiance of the naval blockade that Israel has been maintaining for the last three years. Seemingly it’s the eighth or ninth attempt by pro-Gaza aid groups to pierce the blockade.  Unusually this time the Israeli response was to land commandos on the ships via helicopters, and that’s when things go out of hand. Nine aid workers from aboard the largest ship were shot dead after by the Israelis after the commandos were allegedly attacked with knives, clubs and even their own guns which had been seized from them. Both sides are already blaming each other for this violent turn of events, but no clear picture has emerged of the situation as yet.

Naturally the internet is already on fire over the raid. People are either taking the aid worker’s side against the evil “Zionist Beasts” of Israel, or applauding Israel for taking a proactive stance to her national security. The first camp seem to have conveniently forgotten that the blockade is a joint Israeli-Egyptian effort in protest at the way Hamas seized control of Palestine during the battle of Gaza. They also seem to have conveniently glossed over the fact that the organisers of the aid convoy were clearly attempting to provoke Israel. They seem to have been under the mistaken belief that if the convoy is made up of packed passenger ships full of witnesses rather than bulk carriers the Israelis would think twice about boarding the ship.

The pro-Israel camp are just as deluded as their opponents however. It doesn’t really matter how you slice it the Israelis should have kept better control of their troops during the boarding actions. I’m sure it was a highly stressful situation for all involved, but why couldn’t they have fired some warning shots, or carried shotguns loaded with beanbag rounds. The could have surely mounted some machine-guns on their helicopters to cover the landing troops without risking an incident.

The few things that all sides agree on seem to be that Israel acted illegally in seizing the ships while they were in international waters.  I suppose it is fair to say that Israel’s actions contravene international laws that have held sway for centuries and could, quite rightly, be described as simple piracy, but I don’t really think they care.

It’s odd perhaps, but one of the things I’ve often admired about Israel is their sheer indifference to international opinion when it comes to matters of their own national security. They know that many of the actions that they take are considered illegal under international law, but they don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. Israel has always been a nation under siege. She has fought wars against, and often spectacularly defeated,  almost all of her hostile Arab neighbours at during the course of her existence. Now it’s fair to say that the West, and the United States in particular, have given Israel a lot of leeway and support over the years, but her continuing survival has been a product of aggressive politics, military action and a complete disregard for anything that is not in Israel’s best interests. Sometimes I wish other nations, including the UK, were as proactive in the promotions of their interests and their self defence as Israel, but more often I’m glad they’re not. Israel has nuclear weapons, even though they refuse to admit it, but thankfully they have the intelligence to keep them under wraps. I would hate to think what would happen if a rogue state like North Korea were in Israel’s place.

Israel’s actions are already being condemned, and most strongly by the previously friendly Turkey under who’s flag most of the ships were sailing. Of course there’s still no response from Downing Street or the White House, and to be honest I’ll be surprised if we see more than a carefully worded missive in condolences to the people killed. It will be interesting to see if anything comes out of this, or if in a weeks time I’m sitting here talking about another shooting on another misguided attempt to breach the blockade.

A Reckoning?

Published on April 19, 2010 in Politics. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

There’s been a lot of talk in the media, and on discussion forums, on the potential outcome of the forthcoming General Election. A lot of ink has been spilled, and electrons hurled, by every side voicing their belief that a win for their political opponents would mean “disaster” for Britain. I’ve been wondering though: what form would this so-called “disaster” take? We’ve all seen businesses fail due to incompetent leadership, poor decisions or just plain bad luck, but can government in an affluent western democracy like the United Kingdom actually fail so much as to be considered a “disaster”.

It’s a question I’ve pondered before after reading a news story about one of the Scottish Councils on the verge of collapsing through mismanagement. Unfortunately I can’t remember which council it was so I’ve been unable to find the article, but I’m sure it was in the central belt somewhere. Now I assume, perhaps wrongly, that should a local authority “fail” either through bankruptcy, or inability to deliver basic government services, that central government would step in and institute some form of take over. It seems a reasonable assumption as the various UK councils are the representation of the national government at a local level. It’s highly unlikely that a council would be allowed to fail to the extent that the bins go un-emptied and the junkies un-methadone-ed for months on end.

If a person’s finances go up the spout the can be declared bankrupt and the state protects them from further financial harm. There’s consequences of course, but they’re still relatively secure. If a company fails they can make similar moves by calling in receivers to try and restructure, or at least salvage some of their creditor’s money. It’s likely, as I’ve already said, that a failing local council or public body would be bailed out and “restructured” by the national government with all the usual fallout that accompanies such actions.

The discussions online and in the media however are busy painting a picture of the United Kingdom in danger of becoming a failed state. As I’ve said, for lesser institutions there’s always a safety net of some kind, but there’s nothing like that for a government.

With western governments increasingly appearing to follow business lines in their operations what happens if the government can’t pay its debts. Sure there may be a revolution, and those in government might be strung up from lampposts, but it seems unlikely. It equally seems unlikely that a nation would quickly descend into anarchy

Weimar Germany provides a partial model of what might happen to a liberal democracy crippled by untenable debt, weak government and internal political divisions.The buying power of the German Reichsmark quickly collapsed leading her creditors amongst the Allied Nations to seek reparations in kind rather than cash or goods, France in particular was very quick to annex the Ruhr Valley by force when Germany proved unwilling and unable to pay what it owed. The model isn’t perfect of course. The Weimar Republic’s debts weren’t the result of rampant government spending or mismanagement, but punishments levied against them by the victorious Allied Powers through the Treaty of Versailles. We also know how that turned out in the end. Is it possible though that the new government could get things so wrong that that it’s forced to hand the country over to her creditors. It’s equally possible that the UK could disintegrate into her component nations leaving all three adrift and burdened with their predecessor’s debts. Maybe they’ll run it so far into the ground that the UK will finally achieve it’s unconscious desire to be the 51st member of the United States of America.

Of course I know that I’m pondering on the shaky foundations of hyperbole and tabloid journalism. I’m well aware that the government of the United Kingdom has weathered far worse crises than the current economic recession, but the intellectual exercise is an interesting.

The Newspaper Question

Published on April 14, 2010 in Musings and News. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .

I’ve been wondering, out of hand, how difficult it would be to start up a newspaper. I know that individuals have done it in the past, HP Lovecraft for one, but is it something that might still be possible in this day and age. It’s unlikely that it would be a profitable enterprise given that most established papers are losing money hand over fist, but maybe something along the business model of the Metro might be successful.

I bet you’re wondering why why might someone like me want to start a newspaper though, and what could I offer that isn’t already out there. In truth I’m not sure, but I know that a newspaper nowadays is more than something to report the news. Maybe there’s a market for a newspaper that’s consciously unbiased? Would people be interested in just reading the news without someone sticking a pair of tits on it like the sun, or blaming immigrants like the Daily Mail? Just the facts ma’am.

Could we dare dream of such a world…

Even the reliotively non-partisan Metro isn’t perfect. Its pages are almost 50% adverts. Understandable given that the paper is given away free every day in many major cities, but it’s content suffers as a result. I half-joking, half-seriously, often point out stories in the Metro that were on the front page of Digg days before. I can’t prove that they’re lifting their features from the internet to save money, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. Still that’s better than those papers that are still blatantly manufacturing the news and trying to pretend it’s serious journalism. Say what you like about the Daily Star for example. At least they realise they’re all about tits, sport and celebrities, and they’ve never tried to be anything else.

Wonder if the missus would kill me for starting a Daily Star clone…

Fodder

Published on February 24, 2010 in People Be Fools. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .

At times it causes me actual physical pain to realise that the world seems to revolve around the lowest common denominator. Every piece of so called news in the papers and on TV seems to be either over dramatised to sell papers or revolves around some halfwit celebrity that’s got their kit off, rocks off or mouthed off while in the public eye. Personally I don’t care how many people Tiger Woods has allegedly pumped, ditto for Ashley Cole and any other one trick pony. In my humble opinion they’re simply not worth the column inches that’s devoted to them. If you ask me their infidelities belong somewhere near the middle of the paper next to the reader’s offers section that sells electric back scratchers and three slice toasters.

I’m giving serious consideration to starting an e-petition at The Prime Ministers Office website to demand a change in the law that will force all tabloid newspapers to replace their name with ARSE FODDER in giant letters. I figure if papers like The Sun are going to print a load of half baked shite they should at least be forced to say so up front.

I’ve even made a mock up to show what it would look like:

I think I might start doing more weird MS Paint drawings…

Moar Maddie and Moar The Sun

Published on January 14, 2010 in News. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

There’s yet another story in The Sun about the court case involving the parents of Madeline McCann and the Portuguese police officer. Just like the one yesterday the comments feature has been disabled for this one story.

Come on The Sun let the public have their say.

Maddie and The Sun

Published on January 13, 2010 in News. 3 Comments Tags: , , , .

In spite of my better judgement I keep logging on to The Sun’s website to read what kind of bizarre spin they’re putting on the news. Normally their mix of jingoistic half news and Tory supporting “politics” amuses me in much the same way as watching folk hurt themselves on You’ve Been Framed, but today I’ve developed a rage at a very specific aspect of their website.

Throughout the site, at the bottom of every article, there is a comments section where registered users can let loose their own brand of misspelled, FULL CAPS “opinions” for everyone to see.  The comments often rival the worst that you can find on Youtube, or any other site with a large group of users. Just like Youtube a large proportion of the most vocal users appear to be a largely illiterate and demented.

The comments themselves have never caused me much annoyance. In fact I would go as far as to say that they add to the amusement value of many of the articles and especially when the commenter charge in having only read half of the preceding article. I’ve actually lost count of the number of times that someone has blamed Gordon Brown for something that he couldn’t possibly have any control over.

No the comments are fine, but I am annoyed by the fact that the sun chooses to prevent people from commenting on certain stories while allowing free reign on others.

Today The Sun is running a story about the ongoing court case between Goncalo Amaral and the parents of Madeline McCann over the banning of his book on the case. In the book the former police officer alleges that Madeline’s parents accidentally caused her death and then went to elaborate lengths to dispose of her body and cover their tracks. I’ve actually read the book as it was posted on Wikileaks.org last year and I believe that the author makes some very valid points. The writing style was sensationalist, and very accusatory, but the underlying theory does merit investigation. I accept that it’s natural that the McCanns should be outraged at the accusation of being responsible for Madaline’s disappearance, but at the same time they should accept that they are bound to be investigated in some manner. It seems to me that even if they did not, as the book alleges, have a hand in their daughter’s disappearance that they were at the very least negligent in their parental responsibilities.

The book has been banned, at the request of the McCanns, due to its controversial nature, but I feel that this is fundamentally wrong. If we are not allowed to hear all sides of an argument how can we judge which side is right?

In a similar vein The Sun, which has been hypercritical of the Portuguese police from the day and hour the story broke, has branded Chief Inspector Tavares Almeida’s allegations “outrageous” and described the police officer as “sick”. In my opinion this man, and his former superior who authored the book under discussion are merely articulating a view that has been widely circulated since Madeline disappeared in May 2007. Without sufficient evidence to refute the theory it remains perfectly valid. Let’s not forget that this entire case turned into an outrageous media circus within days of the disappearance being reported. The McCanns themselves have been repeatedly criticised in foreign media for their apparently nonchalant reaction to discovering their child’s disappearance, their uncommonly calm and detached demeanour on press conferences after the story broke and most of all for leaving all three of their small children alone in an unlocked apartment, in a strange city, while they went out for a meal.

The whole case offends me, but what offends me more is that The Sun doesn’t have the courage to leave their comments system turned on so that people can make their opinions, critical or otherwise, known on the article. If the McCanns have nothing to hide then they’ve nothing to fear from conspiracy theories. Equally if The Sun is determined to keep advertising itself as a paper of the common person in the street then it needs to let the man in the street have their say no matter how far that might diverge from The Sun’s opinion.

Papering The Cracks

Published on December 21, 2009 in Crime and History. 1 Comment Tags: , , , .

I see that the Polish police have already managed to recover the “Arbeit Macht Frei” sign stolen from Auschwitz last week. According to reports in the news the infamous sign has been cut into three pieces, most probably to make it easier to smuggle out of Poland, and five people have been arrested. Much as I predicted, before I went off on a rant about the ills of society, the sign was not taken by neo-Nazis or holocaust deniers. Instead it looks most likely that the sign was stolen to order, but who on earth would want the sign in the first place? I can hardly see some nouveau-rich fool standing proudly with the sign hanging over his mantelpiece on Christmas morning can you?

Another Crack in the Wall

Published on December 18, 2009 in Whiiiit!?. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .

I’ve been saying for a long time now that history is losing its importance in the modern world. People have no need to learn about, or respect the actions of people that don’t appear on reality TV shows.

A case in point is the announcement today by the Polish authorities that someone has deliberately stolen the infamous sign Arbeit Macht Frei that has hung over the main gate of Auschwitz Death Camp since it was built by the Nazis.

In my opinion this is nothing but a blatant disregard for what is a powerful memorial to remind the world of the systematic, industrial scale evil of the Nazi regime. I can’t conceive of any good reason why anyone would want to take the sign, but I suppose holocaust deniers are too obvious a target.

This may be a high profile incident, but it seems to be part of a worrying trend. It’s only a few weeks since a student narrowly avoided a jail sentence for urinating on a war memorial. It seems like the memory of the estimated sixty million people who died in World War II is already fading away. Young people, especially those under twenty at the moment, seem to have little understanding of historically important events. Now I know, and freely admit that I have a degree in history and am therefore probably quite biased about the whole thing, but even those without my historical leanings have to admit that there’s an ongoing dumbing down of society.

I think it has a lot to do with the mentality of current generations, and by that I mean anyone not of my generation. Many of them, from the earliest age, seem unable to look beyond themselves, and most seem highly ignorant of anything that doesn’t include an opportunity for text voting.

I know of course that many of today’s kids are good people. They know a bit about history, and they’re as outraged as I am by the fading values of western society, but they’re quietly hiding out there waiting for things to get better, and all the time the lunatics are gradually taking over the asylum.

Get it sorted kids, and stop waiting for us adults to sort them out.